After over a year apart, each one leading their own lives, not knowing if we would see each other again, we were back together in Spain.
But it wasn’t easy and I didn’t know how long it would last.
I had always felt like a different person in New York, different from the person I was in Spain. But this time around I felt it more than ever. And J was the witness to it, and the victim of that uncertainty.
Some days were an uphill battle for us. He supported me as best he could and he fought for us. But me…I was floundering in my identity crisis, struggling to shake off the remnants of the city and adapt to the sudden change in lifestyle. Though I had already lived in Spain before, New York had always had a way of gripping me in its claws, and it wasn’t easy to shake them off.
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the details and lose sight of the bigger picture.
I had lost sight of the value of this relationship, the value of this partnership, of having this person in my life as I drowned in the smaller details of my new circumstances. Everything that we had been through together and the benefits and joy this relationship had brought to my life before we separated seemed like a distant blur, a faded memory.
I have always admired J’s dedication and honesty, but pulling through this particular phase of our relationship showed how much he believed in us.
A relationship isn’t only about love, it’s about partnership. He is not simply my boyfriend, he is my partner. And I am his. We support each other through those tough times, we pull through for each other and we believe in each other and in us. It isn’t about escaping into each other, it is about standing side by side, facing the ups and downs of life together.
J said it best, “Let’s seek our freedom together.”
And that’s exactly what we are doing, what we will continue to do as we move onto the next phase of our relationship: living together.
As we quite literally move into this next stage of life, I am so looking forward to the new adventures we will experience together. And having been through the roughest part of our relationship yet, and having learned what we did, I am confident that it will be an amazing journey.